on loneliness

even when i am surrounded by people all day and all night, i am trapped in this pit of intolerable loneliness. it's amazing how my life swings in polar opposites from suffocation- with way too many people and way to much to do- to shear solitude- with nothing but idleness and distraction and a reminder of my disjointedness from so much that i care about...

today somebody i really care about said something that made me feel hyper-sensitive, and selfish and insecure and it's just reminded me of my own fragility- something i had hoped i was past.

each day i pray for the will to gain comfort in my own skin, to know my own vocation and purpose and to learn to love myself as i am, regardless of what i do. this is still my hope

. . .