what a blur

i find it funny that i still start every post apologizing for not updating. i don't think anyone even checks back any more because they just assume i'm saying nothing. ahh well, if it's just me in cyber space then i still get to purge all the stuff i'm thinking :)

it's still never ceases to amaze me that every year is filled with whole periods of transition for me. it never fails that in a given year, i will have some time in the year where nothing is really settled. that's very much the case now. my stuff is in storage, my body is in london, my head is in the clouds and my brain is on overdrive. i flit back and forth between oxford and london and dabble in friend groups without really being based anywhere. one day, i'm just going to park myself in a cabin in the yukon for 12 months and never leave just so i can actually see what it's like to stay in one place with myself :) i'd probably go mental...

london is fab but a lot of work. my days consist of getting up every weekday at 7:30 to let the painters or some contractors in and then running around the house for the next 4 hours letting people in, having meetings about what's happening in the house, running errands (like today where i got to go buy a 335 pound duvet- $650 CDN for a fuckin' duvet!) and just generally scurrying. then i shower and try and write this paper that my supervisor is breathing down my neck for. i've made some progress but without a computer it's been pretty much hopeless... it finally arrives tomorrow (thank the lord)

i'm a single man having ended my longest relationship to date. basically i was a twat and didn't know what i wanted and am relieved now though because i think this was actually what i wanted. i'm enjoying the simple summer of low-committment and high-fun trotting around london in search of hot boys. come the fall, i'll get cozy and comfortable and hibernate with some boi for the winter... (it's a sick pattern and i think i should expend some more energy into changing but i just can't be arsked right now)

exams went well. fell just shy of distinction but considering they haven't given one out in 5 years until the 2 this year, i feel ok with myself. there's lots of days i just feel like quitting but other days when i'm actually engaged in what i'm doing.

this week is a busy oxford one. tomorrow i'm back to do some readings for a broadcast of evensong from my college on bbc world. then my ex's birthday party. wednesday i'm back in to have dinner with one of my fave administrators from the old uni. friday i'm in for a doctor's appointment and seeing my ex in taming of the shrew. should be fun...

more to update later but i'm making no promises. love to all from the world of being in-between

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