time for beavers and syrup

it was weird not to wake up in edinburgh this morning. i have become accustomed to the city- with its varying levels and its tiny alleys. i had also gotten used to my routine of waking late, reading the paper, enjoying a cup of coffee, seeing some theatre, eating and then heading to do a show. this was my longest show run to date (15 shows) and i can now see how professionals can get into a groove. although, i am glad to be through with constantly nanny-ing my voice and worrying about getting sick. tonight i sleep again in london before heading to the big bad wilderness of canada...

i can't remember the last time i've been this scared about embarking on something. having been a nomad and involved in lots of different things over the years, i thought i had gotten over new-thing jitters. i guess mostly because the biggest changes over the last couple of years have been filled with excitement. with all this dissertation stuff, i am excited but fear certainly overrides most of that enthusiasm. i feel like a fish out of water and beyond my element but i am also quite worried about whether everything will come together- if i fuck this up i really don't get a second chance. anyway, tomorrow i get on a plane and thursday i show up at a social assistance office and try and get myself sorted- we'll see how it goes :)

looking forward to seeing a lot of ya over the coming month and also excited to be heading "home". safe journies to all

. . .