life in all its many computations

it's been days of fun but also days of much thinking. the piazzas provide wonderful spaces for solace, sun-soaking and great conversation. john and i are in such separate spaces in lives and it's illuminating for the two of us to discuss our separate lives. john is looking to buy a house, hoping to go to an all-inclusive and wants to settle down with a boy. i am just as nomadic and floating as ever- restlessly seeking out outlets for creativity, love, performance and thought. for one of the moments in some time, reflecting on john's life and my own made me see my isolation from so much and so many, my relative deprivation of long-term committment both in friends, lovers and family and the serious amount of time and thought in my life which is help captive in my mind. i do not feel void of friends of human contact, just that i realize how much of my life is fragmented and piece-meal, making for amazing mosaics of culture and people but no real cohesion...

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john and i saw leonarado di caprio today. we were about twenty feet away as he strolled down the steps of the mayor's residence on capitoline hill in rome. he's here because parts of gangs of new york were shot here. interesting that in the montage of images that make up this trip there will be great works of antiquity, amazing renaissance paintings, baroque sculpture without parallel and a sex symbol of reasonable acting acument

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i am touched by so many emotions upon seeing both the construction and deconstruction of previous cultural episodes. i wonder what we will remember of this age, i wonder if we have provided the support necessary to ensure we leave a legacy, i wonder what place i have in the massive universe in which we live and i am struck again at the relative uneasiness i have about my future path

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more soon

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