beauty queen

want to be a fucking beauty queen? read heather mallick in today's globe... she cracks me up! favorite lines from the piece:

"I have strong opinions on the duties of a beauty queen. Many of you will disagree. (Do not write to me.)"

"For those of you who don't know what Touche Eclat is, that's my point. A beauty queen would know that it is the undereye circle concealer used by Madonna. That it works. That it is expensive."

"Many duties devolve on a Miss Canada. It is much more than one's residence. It is a quickness of wit, a quality of mind, a sprezzatura, as the Italians say. And if you don't know what that means, you are not qualified to rule over us, you ignorant, albeit pretty, little tartlet."

it appears i will never be miss canada

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